Current Government Guidelines for the Living Impaired
By Danica Parker-Pierce
Contributor to the Stephen E. King High School Newspaper
As civil rights groups across the United States continue to file lawsuits in both state and federal courts, the staff of the school newspaper decided it was time to review the rights which have been temporarily bestowed to the “living impaired” or zombies as most students still call them.
However, one of the first things to remember is that if you see a zombie that is not accompanied by a caretaker, you should immediately call 9999 and report the sighting to the zombie hotline.
For the first few months following the zombie outbreak, there were no laws covering this problem and the undead could be disposed of on sight without fear of reprisal. However, with the advent of medicine and technology (specifically the development of Mortiphalin), that has changed.
The main thing to remember is that it is no longer lawful to “dispatch” an undead person. This was done by destroying the brain of the zombie.
According to the new mandate set forth by the federal government, until these legal matters can be settled, the living-impaired have most of the same rights as all Americans. (Technically, they even have the right to vote, but as they can barely hold a pencil, let alone mark a ballot, that issue is really not an issue at this point.)
However, not only is “killing” a zombie against the law, it is also illegal to abuse one. This latest ruling came down after it was discovered that zombies were being used in club boxing matches and even being used as piñatas in backyard parties.
As the number of living-impaired loved ones being cared by family members rises, it becomes more and more likely that they will eventually become a normal part of everyday life. Or at least as far as the word “normal” can be used when referring to zombies.
The above article was provided to me by Curiosity Quills author STAN SWANSON. It appears in the Stephen E. King high school newspaper. The newspaper, and the school, can be found in the new Curiosity Quills book HORROR HIGH SCHOOL: RETURN OF THE LOVING DEAD.
The first book in the young adult Horror High School series, Return of the Loving Dead (by Araminta Star Matthews and Stan Swanson), is now available through Amazon or your favorite bookstore. You can also visit the official Horror High School blog at http://horrorhighschool.com/
Bio: Stan Swanson is coauthor of Horror High School: Return of the Loving Dead along with Araminta Star Matthews. Published by Curiosity Quills Press, Return of the Loving Dead is the first book in a new series about zombies, teen romance, the mystical occult, and the nature of true love.
Bio: Araminta Star Matthews is an author, educator, and instructional designer in Central Maine. Born a ginger to a pair of geek parents (one, a lover of all things Stephen King, the other a tabletop gamer and Tolkein-fan), Araminta has always been a bit of an odd duck. Her books typically feature strong, young women who are brilliant, clever, funny, and weird. Her books include Blind Hunger, Write of the Living Dead, Before Black Mask, Before Weird Tales, and The Warehouse. Her notable shorter works include “Bark of the Covenant,” in One Night Stands, “The All-Consuming Hunger of Love” in Dark Moon Digest, “Under My Skin” in Zombies Need Love, Too, and “Every Time a Bell Rings,” in Slices of Flesh. She lives in Central Maine with her miraculous dogs, Devo the whippet and Crivens the Jack-Chi, and her partner, Abner Goodwin.
Much thanks to Stan Swanson for stopping by today. And congratulations to him and Araminta Star Matthews on the release of the first book in the Horror High School series. I wish them the best of luck with their series!