The Purgatorio Dialogues – Meet the Writers of Purgatorium Part III

Welcome to the third installment of my series of interviews with the contributors of the horror anthology PURGATORIUM from ID Press! Now that we have the 4 members of ID Press completed, we can go on to the other contributors of the anthology.

I have found each of these interviews to be highly entertaining and I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I did. Today we have Kate Arms, Mel Cober and Samantha Banik in the spotlight.

Kate is always eloquent and she stopped me in my tracks with one of her answers. On the subject of her favourite genre, she replied:

“Wherever I can find poetic language about philosophical ideas and questions about what it means to be a human being, with a preference for writers who are willing to look at the dark sides of humanity and find beauty there.” ~ Kate Arms

Now that’s something I can fully get behind! These interviews are peppered with beautiful and thoughtful insights. I’m glad I poked the contributors…they continue to delight me with their responses.

I must remember to bring Mel a nice pile of fluffy kittens the next time we get together. From the woman who thinks being nice is overrated. 🙂

And I think I may have fallen a little in love with Samantha after reading her response to question #16. So very true!

Enjoy Kate, Mel, and Samantha’s interviews! All are wise, witty and wonderful…

Purgatorio Dialogues – V – Kate Arms

Kate Arms (Photo courtesy of the author)

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Feeling passionately alive in the present moment.

2. What is your most preferred genre as a writer?

The easy one to write – now, if I could just figure out which one that is…

3. What is your greatest fear?

Horrible things happening to my kids.

4. What is your most preferred genre as a reader?

Wherever I can find poetic language about philosophical ideas and questions about what it means to be a human being, with a preference for writers who are willing to look at the dark sides of humanity and find beauty there.

5. Which horror writer do you most admire and why?

The one that most recently gave me shivers. I’m fickle that way.

6. What was your idea of horror prior to setting off on this adventure into Purgatorium?

That too much is badly written and involves jump scares and gratuitous gore, but that the best stuff is marvelously disturbing.

7. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Prudence

8. What is your idea of horror now that you’ve been to Purgatorium?

A way to explore the dark side of humanity without actually hurting anybody.

9. What else have you written?

Personal essays, poetry, contemporary adult fiction, a manifesto on how to have healthy relationships, a book of writing prompts, and too much unpublished YA fantasy.

10. When and where were you most afraid?

I was held up at knife point outside my apartment one night in my 20s.

11. Which talent would you most like to have?

The ability to write a first draft that doesn’t need revision.

12. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

“A bag of groceries accidentally taken off the shelf before the date stamped on myself” (h/t They Might be Giants)

13. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

I need to ask my son. He’s writing the graphic novel “Death vs. Darkness”, and Misery is a central character. He probably knows.

14. What are your three deserted island books?

Complete Works of William Shakespeare, Huis Clos by Jean-Paul Sarte, and “Map: Collected and Last Poems by Wislawa Szymborska“.

15. Who are your favorite writers?

The ones I am reading at the moment who are captivating my imagination, the ones I get to hang out with, and Shakespeare.

16. Who is your hero of fiction?

The writer.

17. What sound grates on you more than any other?

The video game soundtracks from all the games my children play.

18. How would you like to die?

In a book written by a friend. Or my sleep.

19. What sound brings you deep joy?

Waves crashing on a rocky shore.

20. What is your motto?

Carpe the F*ck Out of This Diem. (Stolen from a mentor, Kristen Bentley, who took it from her mentor, L.A. Reding.

On the Web, KATE can be found:

Kate Arms

TWITTER

Purgatorio Dialogues – VI – Mel Cober

Mel Cober (Photo courtesy of the author)

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Living at Disney full time.

2. What is your most preferred genre as a writer?

I prefer to write in darker genres, but I’ve written in many.

3. What is your greatest fear?

Spiders. Oh wait- this could be used against me. Piles of fluffy kittens is my worst fear.

4. What is your most preferred genre as a reader?

I have no preference, I read it all. (And I think everyone should as well)

5. Which horror writer do you most admire and why?

Is it cliche to say Stephen King? Because he gets it done, and he’s by far the best known. (please don’t use this one Kevin)

6. What was your idea of horror prior to setting off on this adventure into Purgatorium?

Everything from things that go bump in the night, to an alien abduction to a demon peeling the skin off it’s victim. Anything can become a horror story, if told right.

7. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Being polite. Sometimes, you need to stand up for yourself (or others) and be that bitch.

8. What is your idea of horror now that you’ve been to Purgatorium?

Same as 6

9. What else have you written?

I’ve written blogs for Boom 97.3, articles for small publications and many short stories.

10. When and where were you most afraid?

When my grandma had a stroke and I got the call from my dad. Sadly, she didn’t make it.

11. Which talent would you most like to have?

To be able to finish a task w/o distraction. Oh look…is that a squirrel?

12. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

A cat. I’d love to sit in the sun all day and nap, and have someone feed me.

13. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Misery without company?

14. What are your three deserted island books?

All the Bright Places, Eleanor and Park and a book that changes each time you read it. 😉

15. Who are your favorite writers?

Everyone in Purgatorium.

16. Who is your hero of fiction?

(Not answered)

17. What sound grates on you more than any other?

The beeping of our water softener that beeps constantly a full two weeks before it will run out of salt.

That or Dale Long. 😉

18. How would you like to die?

No one likes to die. So I suppose in my sleep is best.

19. What sound brings you deep joy?

The sound of the water lapping on a dock during a summer night, while I type away.

20. What is your motto?

If you ever leave me I’m coming with you.

On the Web, MEL can be found:

Mel Cober

TWITTER

Purgatorio Dialogues – VII – Samantha Banik

Samantha Banik (Photo courtesy of the author)

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

That moment when I walk in the room to pick my daughter up from daycare and she first sees me. That look in her eye of unconditional love and happiness, followed by pure excitement as she runs into my arms squealing. That right there. That is my happy place.

2. What is your most preferred genre as a writer?

Apparently I have a few.

3. What is your greatest fear?

Losing my Mom or my daughter. And being abducted by aliens…clowns too. Hate clowns.

4. What is your most preferred genre as a reader?

Anything. I will read anything.

5. Which horror writer do you most admire and why?

Bram Stoker. Dracula was the first horror piece I ever read. I love his style. It’s the first book I think of when I think about horror books.

6. What was your idea of horror prior to setting off on this adventure into Purgatorium?

A world in which chocolate does not exist. Oh, and smelling poop. You can’t trust the smell of poop. Ask any mom.

7. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Patience. Whoever made that list, did not have children.

8. What is your idea of horror now that you’ve been to Purgatorium?

A world in which writers do not exist.

9. What else have you written?

The Pirate – WIP, Fallen From Grace – WIP, plus many, many unfinished pieces. Several articles for the Orono Weekly Times.

10. When and where were you most afraid?

Standing outside of my father’s house the night he died knowing what I was going to find when I entered.

11. Which talent would you most like to have?

I would love to be able to sing well. Though, I do anyway even though I sound like a wounded guinea pig.

12. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

Losing This was a hard one too. I think a cat. They have pretty good lives. Nine of them to boot.

13. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Losing a loved one. It’s a pain that runs deep and never truly goes away.

14. What are your three deserted island books?

Outlander by Diana Gabaldon, How to Build a Raft out of Sticks and Leaves by Samantha Banik (WIP), War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy.

15. Who are your favorite writers?

I have many, but a few are Jane Austen, Diana Gabaldon, D.H. Lawrence, J.R.R. Tolkien, and all of my writer friends 🙂

16. Who is your hero of fiction?

All the heroes and heroines of every story I’ve ever read. I had to think about this one and I couldn’t come up with any one character.

17. What sound grates on you more than any other?

The sound of negativity.

18. How would you like to die?

Preferably in my sleep, but trying to save the world from an alien invasion would be cool too.

19. What sound brings you deep joy?

My daughter’s laughter.

20. What is your motto?

One is never served so well as by oneself, or – If you want something done right, do it yourself.

On the Web, SAMANTHA can be found:

TWITTER

One more installment of Purgatorio Dialogues to come! Look for it next week!

In the meantime, LIKE ID PRESS ON FACEBOOK and don’t forget to ADD PURGATORIUM TO YOUR SHELF ON GOODREADS!

PURGATORIUM…It’s coming!

The Purgatorio Dialogues – Meet the Writers of Purgatorium Part II

Welcome to day two of my interviews with the writers from Purgatorium. Today, I’m featuring Pat Flewwelling and Tobin Elliott. Together, with Connie Di Pietro and Dale Long, they make up the staff of ID PRESS. Pat had me laughing out loud in places. Especially when she spoke of her fear of flying and then let me know she was boarding a plane (sadly, I’m quite certain her fear amped up yesterday…as she experienced several delays at the airport prior to boarding said plane). What can I say about Tobin Elliott? Nobody makes me cry as often as Tobin does. He’s like that phone commercial that breaks you down and leaves you bawling and surprised that a 30-second vignette could cut you so close to the bone. He’s a funny guy…but he writes with an emotional poignancy I myself could only dream of owning. Even his Facebook updates often have me swallowing through the lump in my throat. Yes…a couple of his responses here left me in tears. Something in the way he writes…

Pat, Connie, Dale, and Tobin

The Proust Questionnaire was not penned by Proust, but rather made famous by him. It was a personality questionnaire that Proust famously answered in the most delightful of ways, and often. It was his answers to the question that caused the questionnaire to take off and become a favourite form of interview…it even had a life as a parlour game of sorts. I find that it reveals a lot about a person…it invokes personal insights as well as personality, sense of humour and one’s beliefs, etc. This questionnaire I composed is not entirely the same as the Proust version, but a lot of the original questions remain intact. Enjoy today’s insights into the minds of Pat and Tobin, two of the ten writers featured in PURGATORIUM!

Purgatorio Dialogues – III – Pat Flewwelling

Pat Flewwelling (Photo courtesy of the author)

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Letting go.

2. What is your most preferred genre as a writer?

Anything but Westerns, Romance, and Poetry.

3. What is your greatest fear?

Flying. I go a little crazy before and during every flight. Like…I need to gnaw on people and scream and stuff, that kind of afraid. I hate flying.

4. What is your most preferred genre as a reader?

Non-fiction and mystery.

5. Which horror writer do you most admire and why?

Nancy Kilpatrick, because she’s not afraid to tell a new writer the painful, honest truth, without being discouraging – but as an editor, she is also willing to give new, unknown writers a chance.

6. What was your idea of horror prior to setting off on this adventure into Purgatorium?

That it was an easily maligned, but not easily defined, genre. It should, at the very least, make me shiver at the profoundness of the human soul – either as profoundly evil, or profoundly defiant in the face of utter horribleness.

7. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Temperance. All things in moderation, including moderation.

8. What is your idea of horror now that you’ve been to Purgatorium?

Horror doesn’t have to go to extremes – neither all-scary, nor all-gory, nor all-demonic/paranormal. Sometimes horror can use a soft touch.

9. What else have you written?

Three dark fiction novels (Helix: Blight of Exiles, Helix: Plague of Ghouls, and Helix: Scourge of Bones), two dieselpunk novels (The Fog of Dockside City series), a crime/biography (Judge Not), and a smattering of short stories. Those are the published ones, at least.

10. When and where were you most afraid?

Depends on your definition of “afraid”. If you mean anxious to the point of running away, the answer is “Any time I’m in Costco on a Saturday afternoon.” If you mean, jump-scared / ran away / screamed like a little girl, then it would be that time I tried to clean my first fish, and it wasn’t as dead as I’d thought it was, and it jumped clean off the plate, flapping tail-to-mouth in the air. If you mean “afraid for my safety”…that seems to be the times when I’m most focused and self-controlled, so I guess I would have to say, “n/a”…?

11. Which talent would you most like to have?

Is tact a talent? Because I’d like to have that. Mind you, I find talent overrated. If a talented gymnast won gold every year without hardly trying, and this other “talent-less” but hardworking gymnast won silver for the first time in sixteen years, I’d applaud the one who won silver.

12. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

I’d like to come back as the incarnation of bad luck. I don’t know why I said that. I blame the lack of coffee. But it’s amazing what bad luck can do for you sometimes. A flat tire could save you from a five car pile-up.

13. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Convincing yourself that you can’t – and don’t deserve to – change.

14. What are your three deserted island books?

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep (aka Blade Runner, Philip K. Dick); The Merry Adventures of Robin Hood (Howard Pyle); The Hound of the Baskervilles (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle).

15. Who are your favorite writers?

The ones I’ve met in person. Well, most of them, anyways. Also, Raymond Chandler, Sam Thomas, and Ellis Peters.

16. Who is your hero of fiction?

Brother Cadfael. Crusader turned sailor turned Benedictine monk / gardener and sometimes murder-solver. He’s completely anti-noir because he looks for the good in humanity, despite war, murder, profiteering, etc., and knows the value of a peaceful place.

17. What sound grates on you more than any other?

Power tools. Any power tool. Literally any. If they had faces, I would punch them.

18. How would you like to die?

Quickly, purposefully, and in saving someone else.

19. What sound brings you deep joy?

The overall harmony of nature in the morning, deep in the interior of Algonquin Park.

20. What is your motto?

Video et taceo. For the record, it was also Queen Elizabeth I’s motto, and it is not Latin for Netflix and tacos.

On the Web, PAT can be found:

Pat Flewwelling

TWITTER

Purgatorio Dialogues – IV – Tobin Elliott

Tobin Elliott (Photo courtesy of the author)

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Perfect happiness is having my family around me, lots of books to read, good friends who love me unconditionally, and my pets. Preferably on a lovely fall day.

2. What is your most preferred genre as a writer?

I love the horror genre, but it’s finding the horror in the everyday things. To me, the monster isn’t scary unless it’s in a position to take something cherished away from my human characters. A realistic character reacting to the loss of a lover or child or parent is more terrifying than a monster that bites his neck or kills him.

3. What is your greatest fear?

Not being able to be there for those I love. Whether that’s due to a debilitating terminal illness, or death, or just not being available when one of my kids or my wife really needs me. I never want to let down those that need me most.

4. What is your most preferred genre as a reader?

Oh damn. That’s tough. I love good horror, probably because I find it so rarely. But I also can say the same for good science fiction, or thriller, or crime drama, or mystery, or non-fiction books. I read constantly and widely, so for me it’s less about genre and more about the quality of the experience.

5. Which horror writer do you most admire and why?

Also a tough one. I admire Stephen King simply because he’s bucked the odds and become not only the most popular modern author, but he did it writing a much-frowned upon genre. But I also have great admiration for Jack Ketchum because no one—absolutely no one—has affected me like he did with some of his writing, particularly The Girl Next Door.

6. What was your idea of horror prior to setting off on this adventure into Purgatorium?

From a reading standpoint, usually something involving a supernatural element. I love my vampires and werewolves and demons. From a personal standpoint, it was—and remains—the answer to #3. Our greatest fear is always that thing that inspires the greatest horror.

7. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Physical beauty. Yes, I like attractive looks, just like everyone else, but I despise how they often give the person a pass to be an absolutely deplorable person and get away with it. I’m looking at you, Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton. Beauty fades, but the ability to be empathetic and honest and funny and loyal are forever.

8. What is your idea of horror now that you’ve been to Purgatorium?

Finding the horror in the everyday. As I said above, I love my vampires and werewolves and demons, but nothing matches the horror of a parent or role model who is more of a monster than any of them could ever hope to be. So, a bit more of a dovetailing of greatest fear and horror.

9. What else have you written?

I’ve written some ugly stories about awful people doing terrible things. I’ve had three novellas published through small presses, as well as a couple of short stories in anthologies. All are horror. But I’ve also written three interconnected horror novels and collaborated on a dark fantasy novel involving the Four Horsemen, a God who is mad (and angry) and the Biblical Apocalypse. Oh, and some blogs that made people laugh.

10. When and where were you most afraid?

Well, there was a time in Algonquin Park when a bear attacked our camp for about an hour and the only thing between it and my twelve-year-old tasty flesh was tent fabric. But I think the most terrified I’ve been…well, to be honest, I can’t even talk about it. That’s not a cop out, it’s the truth.

11. Which talent would you most like to have?

The power of persuasiveness. I’d love to be able to guide people to make better choices. From small things like helping my kids, to larger issues like preventing things like gun violence, racial crimes, sexual attacks, and better leadership for the countries of the world. As the old Coke commercial said, I’d like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.

12. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

Probably a cat that my daughter would own, because I know I’d live like a freaking king.

13. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Losing a loved one. No question. Because there is no lowest depth when it comes to that.

14. What are your three deserted island books?

I hate this question. Still, I’ll play your silly reindeer game…

The Shining – Stephen King

The Story of Edgar Sawtelle – David Wroblewski

Boy’s Life – Robert R. McCammon

15. Who are your favorite writers?

Stephen King, Jack Ketchum, Dennis Lehane, Robert E. Howard, Elmore Leonard, John Skipp & Craig Spector (when they collaborated), Douglas Adams, Harlan Ellison, Harper Lee, Ray Bradbury, J.K. Rowling, Carsten Stroud, David Wroblewski, Arthur C. Clarke, Isaac Asimov, Chris Claremont, Warren Ellis, Terry Moore, Brian Michael Bendis, Garth Ennis, . And a bunch of others that I likely can’t think of off the top of my head.

16. Who is your hero of fiction?

You’re killing me here. Sorry, I’m going to have to stray from books because I tend to default to a character in a television series. Benjamin “Hawkeye” Pierce as played by Alan Alda in M*A*S*H always wins for me.

If I need to go from the written word, I’d likely choose Danny Torrance, the young boy from The Shining. There’s a lot that I can identify with in him: an abusive, alcoholic father who could never say no to his demons, a mother who desperately tries to swim the current of her husband’s madness and keep both her own and her child’s head afloat, and Danny himself, walking through the corridors of a manmade hell, doing all he can to understand and navigate away from the horrors…

17. What sound grates on you more than any other?

Anyone whining. Drives me absolutely batshit.

18. How would you like to die?

That’s an odd question. Would anyone really like to die? Not so much. Nor do I, and as I get older, the thought intrudes more and more as my mortality makes itself known. But if I have to go, I want to go out with those I love around me, and everyone laughing and joking and telling their most embarrassing or stupid stories about me…god knows there’s a lot of them.

19. What sound brings you deep joy?

The sound of my wife or kids saying they love me. The purring of my cats. My dog’s yipping in his sleep as he dreams. Wind through the leaves. Rain. The strange muffled silence after a snowfall. The Beatles. Pink Floyd. Heart. Boston. David Bowie. Cheap Trick. The Eagles. Steely Dan. Billy Joel. Elton John. Tom Petty. The Electric friggin’ Light Orchestra. And…absolute silence.

On the Web, TOBIN can be found:

Tobin Elliott

TWITTER

Don’t forget to ADD PURGATORIUM TO YOUR GOODREADS SHELF!

Watch this blog for more Purgatorio Dialogues! Six more to go!

Rabacheeko – A Horror Story (WCDR Wicked Words Honorable Mention)

This short story was something that had me veering completely off my normal course. I actually created a new language of sorts to write it. ultimately, I think the reason it received an honorable mention is that it wasn’t easily accessible to all. It was fun to write, but admittedly a bit confusing. A great experiment, anyhow. It won an honorable mention and was published in the anthology for the WCDR Wicked Words contest. (-:

Rabacheeko

I lay on the super—the sofa—pressing the pulsey pill into the pomegranate—palm—of my hand. My BoDiddly—body—is frozen in trace—in trance. I’m a pairofeyes—paralyzed. Something Margaret has done to me. But my hanglide—my hand—I can move. I can gridlock—ground—that pilsbury—pill—into my palm.

“Take the pill, Trish,” Margaret screeches. But I don’t take it.

When she spikes—speaks—the pilsbury—pill—flexes in my plan—my palm. Did it breathe? Her vice—her voice—was inside the pill. An enchilada—echo. An echo.

“Take the pill,” it echoes, squiggling—squirming—in my filth—my fist. My weirds. My words. My words.

Margaret is my nancy—my nanny. But where is my baby? Margaret was suppose to be watering—watching—my baby boy.

Before I can bring my filth—my fist—to my monster—my mouth—the fried doors—French doors—fly open.

“What have we here?” Margaret cows. Did she caw? “What a pretty little girl.”

A thing that is not a grizzle—a girl—stands in the doorway. I know it’s not really a grizzle—a girl.

“What pretty eyes she has,” Margaret says. “Look at her pretty eyes, Trish.”

But her islands—her eyes—are like mice. Scratching. Her islands—I can’t let her look at me with those islands—those eyes.

Margaret pets the girl thingy’s high—her hair—and it comes off in clumps of crows—of curls—in her fist. Black frothy crows—curls. Margaret doesn’t notice the crows. Doesn’t see.

“Spin, Rabacheeko,” Margaret spies—says—to the girlie thing. “Spin for Trish while she sleeps and slips the pretty pill into her mind.” Did she say mind? I think she said monster—mouth—but I swear I saw mind on her lips.

Rabacheeko? I heard that name because—before—in my whispers—my wind—my meanness. My what?

She’s so tiny. I want to ramble—to run—but my feet won’t mock—move—me. She skitters around the womb—the room. Her tiny freeze—frame—by the widow—the window and then inside—beside—me. Beside me.

“Tee ta tire, Tiki ta,” she—it—says. But I know she says, tee ta tire—take the pill—Trish. I can see it in her mice—her islands—her black oil eyes. “Tee ta tire, Tiki ta.”

I want to ramble—run—but I only press the pilsbury—pill—into my palm. It’s all I can doodle—do.

“Jesus mother filler, Trish!” Margaret says, screaming in the windows shake. The pilsbury screams in my fiddle—fist. I can feel it angry in my grab—grip.

“Where’s my balloon—my body—my boy!” I beg. “My balloon? You have my bendy—my baby. Give me my madness—my Matthew.”

“I’m afraid we’ll be needing your madness, my angel,” Margaret sings. “But if you take the pill, we’ll give you a balloon. You fucker, sweet girl.”

The Rabacheeko girl thing is nightly—naked—and her nipples nearly cry. Her veins are blackbird—black—and squinty—squiggly—in her skin. Her hunger—hand—reaches out to touch me and I scrim—scream. But my voice comes over—out—of her raw mint—mouth, not mine. The scream exits her mint—mouth—in my voice. I cry.

“My billy bub!” the thinging tinkle—girlie—wimpers—whispers. “My billy bub bounce biggy!”

She brings something out of her mint—her mouth. A plinger—a planet—in small. She lets the black planet shining in her heart—hand—come out to play. It doesn’t bounce. It hungers—hovers—in the air. The black shining planet hovers in the air above her hand.

“Looky, Tiki ta!” it says. It squirms like heat. Rabacheeko grizzle—girl—squirms like heat. “My billy bub.”

I squeeze the pilsbury—pill. I want to swillingly—swallow—it willingly. I want my balloon—my boy—back, so I want to swilling the pill. I want to eat the pilsbury to stop the plinging—the planet—from touching me.

“Take the pill, you filthy girl,” Margaret says oh so sweatly—sweetly—like a coo. Like a ninny—a nanny. She’s my nanny. She touches my finger—my face—caress. “Take the pill, you fucking filthy fool, dearie.”

“Where’s my baby?” I ask. And I say what I mad—I mean. My words. I say it rigid—right.

“Tiki ta!” the thingling says. “Tiki ta, touch my billy bub.”

My hands that—raven—could not move—they reach to touch the planet black. My mind tries to stoop—to stop—but it reaches, they reach and touch the billy bub. No. Don’t touch the billy bub. But my tongue tinies the black orb.

It stretches and shrieks. I scram—scream. It goes bigger and bigger. A bubble of black.

The girling Rabacheeko thing laughs like diamonds. Sharp. Jagged. And the black planet, like a raven cracking—glass—egg—breaks bigger. Bigger and bigger. It stretches and grows. The girling thing reaches to bring it down to earnest—earth. It stretches wheels and leather.

“Oh Trishbratbaby,” Margaret pleads, shaking me. “Why did you not sweetly take the fucking fool pill?”

The girling thing giants—giggles—and shows me the planet as a wheelchair. It’s grown from a plinging—a planet—into a wheelchair. It sits wicked and wild, waiting for me. Black and swaying, with wheels that scratch—I mean screech! It wants to eek—eat—me. I know.

“My billy bub!” Rabacheeko says in scratching in my head. It’s not a girl, this Rabacheeko. It’s eight years-old and evil ever ancient. It speaks in my heart—my head—from the inside out.

“Nightingale!” I scream. But what I mental—mean—is NO.

“In my billy bub, Tiki ta!” it whistles—whispers—in my egg—ear. But I know she means, in my wheelchair, Trish. Get the frack into—inside—my wickety chair—my wheelchair!

But I don’t move. I squeeze the pilsbury in my fiddles—fingers.

“Magic! I want my balloon back. My bologna. My baby!” I say to Margaret. She wattles—watches—the wheelchair and laughs. My Matthew.

“You don’t have a baby, Trish,” Margaret says. “Remember. You don’t have any children. You can have this pill if you wish.” She holds a pill in her hell—her hand. But I feel the one in my fist. She wants me to tail—take—it. But what will it do?

Madness, Madness, I say in my head. But I know I mean, Matthew, Matthew. My baby. We came for tea. To the new ninja’s—nanny’s—house for tea. I remember. Madness and me. His stroller. His stroller is by the fried—French—doors. Squeaking in the corner like a good striper—stroller—should.

The tea. That’s what took my weirds—my words—poison in the tease—the tea.

The Rabacheeko thing, it rips my flush—flesh—in ribbons. My blur—blood—is falling in rivers. Rivulets of retch—red. It touches waterfall and fingers noisy the falling red. Rabacheeko likes blood.

“My water, mi wata wiggle!” it says and drinks my dripping blur. It’s not a grizzle—a girl. It’s a monstrosity—monster. Rabacheeko grizzle.

Margaret laughs. “Oh Trish!” she says. “Don’t you love my pretty little girl? My Rabacheeko pretty girl.” But I know she means grizzle.

Rabacheeko holds my arm now and pulls it from my shiver—shoulder. The crack of bog—bone—makes me scream. Its—mind—mouth—opens and my vicky—voice—comes out. But retch—red—pumps freely and sprays. Springs—sprays—on the pretty Rabacheeko grizzle—girlie.

“Eat the flying fucking flung pill, Trish,” Margaret howls as she pushes me from the sofa and onto the fringe—the floor. “Eat the filling finger!” I know she’s swearing.

“Mi wata, wiggle, Tika ta!” Rabacheeko whistles wild. She laps at my blur—my blood.

My arms are coated in blur. My mind in shackles chuckles. My baby, my baby.

If I go into the black planet, I’ll dig and dive—die. I know this. I’ll dig and dive—die. I’ll never see madness—Matthew—again.

It reaches lips with teeth to tear my mingle—mind. I scream.

“Tiki ta,” it says like a pretty picture, pleased. I know this is my name. Trish. “Tiki ta.” It holds my flush—my flesh—in hungs—hunks—of hanging in its slippers—slopping—hands.

The wheelchair’s wheels spike—spin—and I know that devils twist inside the works. I don’t want to sit there. But I’m on the grind—ground—floor—and being pulled by the thinging grizzly girl. I scribble—scream. She is wicked. She is wicked and wild.

“Not the blacking!” I say in shout. “Not the blacking blind!” But I mean, Not the wheelchair!

“Tiki ta!” Rabacheeko laughs and picks my blurring—bleeding—body from the frothy frithing flung—floor.

“Inside, my billy bub!” it pleases—pleasures—pleads.

“Here you go, Trish,” Margaret melts. “Your lovely lively pill.” She squeezes it down my mawing mind—mouth. “Forget your lovely baby boy. He’s mine. Here you go, dearie dear. You little foolish fuck.” Her smile is surprise—serene.

I know she will look after my baboon—baby. I look at the chair as Rabacheeko drags me inside. She brings me to the plinging—the planet—the churning—chair.

“Inside my billy bub!” the Rabacheeko scribbles—screams. And she sits me in the cherub—chair. I fall and falling filling fall forever fleshly. And I disappoint—I disappear.