Isobel Swallows a Warrior – A Short Story (Previously Published in Nothing But Red)

I thought I would share a short story today for I READ CANADIAN DAY! This was originally published in the anthology NOTHING BUT RED. The anthology came about after the brutal ‘mercy’ killing of Du’a Khalil Aswad. Joss Whedon wrote an essay on the incident on May 20th, 2007. Later, Nothing But Red was created.

Here is the story I wrote for the anthology. It was published in 2008.

Isobel Swallows a Warrior

By: Kevin Craig

Isobel has reached her breaking point. She watches the wipers’ valiant attempts at clearing the rain from the windshield as she wills herself somewhere outside the Denali in which she is trapped. It is futile. There is nowhere she can go to escape the voice of oppression sitting beside her.

“You never listen, Isobel,” Cal repeats. “This has been planned for months. Just because you don’t want to participate in the social events of my life, doesn’t mean you’re excused from them. You’re my wife. You will accompany me. It’s the way it will always be.”

Isobel attempts to hear Cal’s voice as only noise. She has become adept at tuning out the gist of his words; at hearing only his baritone drone. This ability saves her from the sting of many insults.

As the wipers continue to fight the deluge, she listens to the near-whisper of Dusty Springfield singing Son of a Preacher Man (“A radio is supposed to be background noise. The volume doesn’t need to be above three. Anything higher is excess.” One of the first Cal tenants; handed down some twenty years earlier. She has been straining to hear ever since.). Her finger itches to crank the volume; an action that would be met with dire consequences.

“Are you even listening, or are you proving my point?” In her head, Dusty is drowning him out.

“Isobel? Earth to Isobel.” The jab to the shoulder brings her back. “You’re going to act like a normal human being tonight. I work with these people. The least you can do is show them a little respect, for Christ’s sake.”

She rubs her shoulder and ponders Dusty’s words. Cal is the only boy who could ever teach her. There was a time–way back when–when she thought he was a sweet-talker, too. It seems she shares something with Dusty. She wonders if Dusty would allow herself to become a doormat to her preacher man’s son.

“Promise me that.”

“Yes,” she mumbles. “I always do. Your fetes are so incredibly stimulating—”

“Don’t get lippy, Issy. You’re going to ruin this for me before it even—”

“I’ll be your puppet, Sir Cal. Don’t worry.” Something in the hopeless way the windshield wipers struggle against the rain empowers her. She smiles, proud of her flippancy.

“Phhh. Some puppet you make. You’re as useless as feathers on a trout. I’d be able to control a puppet better.” Cal reaches for a cigarette and works at getting it lit. Isobel cracks her window against the smoke. “What the Christ are you doing? Can’t you see it’s pissing out?”

“You know I can’t handle the smoke,” she says.

You know I can’t handle the smoke,” Cal mimics in his mousy Isobel voice. “You’ll soak the seats.” Isobel reluctantly shuts the window.

Isobel shuts down and allows Cal to concentrate on his cigarette. She knows he is thinking about tonight’s Big Cal on Campus event; how wonderful he will be. She thinks idly about her children.

At first, she did the Cal experience for Cal’s sake. He was a sweet-talker. He seemed like someone she could love forever. As the tides began to turn—as the ugliness began to show through his rigid façade—she had found herself with child. First came Hennessey, and then Ben. With each rise in her belly, she felt a swell in her sense of hopelessness. With each child, Cal’s particular brand of Calness grew uglier.

But the kids are grown, a new voice in her head announces. What am I staying for now? She seems to search the rain for an answer. “We’re almost there.”

“Give the woman a medal,” Cal says. “Does MENSA know about you?”

“I was just thinking aloud.”

“Try not to make any mental breakthroughs like that tonight. They already think you’re weird. Don’t start talking to yourself.”

“I was making an observation.”

“And a fine observation it was,” he laughs. “Fine as rain.”

Isobel watches the wipers cut their rhythmic path across the windshield. She knows there is an answer to her problems right in front of her—she just can’t touch it.

If he lets me out at the door, I’ll stay. If he makes me walk in the rain, I’ll leave.

Isobel almost jumps from her seat as this thought occurs. She sneaks a peek across the void between herself and Cal, afraid that he has heard the ultimatum. He is finishing his cigarette, staring blindly into the road and savouring his superiority.

She wants to jump out of her skin. She feels as though a warrior has taken possession of her body and she tries desperately not to blink away this belief. She is afraid the spell will be broken, and with it her resolve.

Cal moves into a turning lane. They are at the Sienna Suites, the pretentious banquet hall where the pretentious soiree is being held. Isobel feels her heart in her throat. She is afraid he might not be able to resist the bright lights and showiness of the valet parking.

As they enter the parking lot she crosses her fingers, hopes for a miracle. As soon as the thought had entered her head, she knew she had wanted it more than life itself. Now she allows her future to rest on Cal’s next move.

“Like I’d let one of those punk-ass kids drive this truck!” Cal says to himself. Isobel waits for him to suggest she jump out.

If he drops me off, I stay with him. Her heart races and monarchs scratch the insides of her belly. They inch past the doors, past the smartly dressed, pimply teen-aged valets—past the security of knowing where Isobel will sleep at night.

In typical Cal fashion, he heads for the back of the lot. Isobel hears the tired parking-refrain mixing with her swirling thoughts of escape—Nobody’s denting these doors. This is a Denali, for Christ’s sake!

Cal pulls sideways into two spots, grabs a Toronto Star from behind his seat, unfolds it over his head and opens his door. He is running toward the banquet hall before Isobel’s door is opened.

She leaves the truck slowly, allowing the rain to soak her new Alfred Sung dress. Cal stops halfway, waves one arm impatiently while holding the paper above his head with the other. Isobel’s own arms begin to rise at her sides. She feels them lengthening—becoming wings. She looks into the night sky, allows the water to further soak her upturned face. She is unconcerned with running mascara and wilted hair.

She makes her way to the entrance and sees Cal waiting inside. His face is red with anger as he glimpses the damage that the rain has caused her. She smiles and waves. She splashes through a final puddle before allowing a tall dark doorman to open the door for her.

“What the hell took you so long? Christ, Issy. Now is not the time to get lost in that Dreamland head of yours. You’re soaked!”

She comes back down to earth just long enough to placate him with a few light words. “I’m in heels, Cal. It’s okay. I’ll just run to the washroom and freshen up. Wait here. I’ll be right out.”

“I’ll see you at the table. I’m not your Goddamn servant,” he snarls. “Wait here,” he says in his finest mousy Isobel voice. “That’s rich, Isobel.” He storms off, handing the doorman his dripping Toronto Star.

Isobel makes a show of walking towards the washrooms, in case he glances back. Her full-circle back to the door is almost a dance. She thinks of Hennessey and Ben—of how they will react to her spontaneous decision to flee. For a split second she thinks she will step back into her life. The resolve takes hold. The warrior in her belly propels her to the doorman.

“Can I help you, Miss?”

“Can you please call me a cab?” It is not Isobel’s voice that comes out of her tiny body. It is the voice of her swallowed warrior. She is leaving.

“They’re just outside. Follow me.” He cracks an umbrella and ushers her into the new and unknown. She puts one foot in front of the other, attempting to look like the sane, rational woman she is leaving behind.

An orange door is opened. She hears the thank you escape her lips. Her wet frame drops into the seat of the cab and she thinks she is smiling as the door closes.

Isobel stares forward, not knowing her next move. I’m leaving Cal. She turns to look at the back of the driver’s head. I’m on my way out of my life. I’m leaving Cal.

“Looks like you got a drenching,” the cabby says, pulling her back into the world. There is music playing softly, almost inaudibly.

“Just a little rain,” says the new voice that Isobel is trying on for size. “Could you please turn the music up? Music should be heard.”

“Certainly. And where are we going tonight?”

She looks to the ceiling and then closes her eyes. “Anywhere but here, driver. Just drive.”

THE END

This story can now be found in my short story collection 7 – Paris at Sunset and into the Night and Other Stories.

Pick it up at AMAZON today!

Billions of Beautiful Hearts is OUT!

My cute little short story BILLIONS OF BEAUTIFUL HEARTS about two teens who find a way to come together during the time of Covid lockdown is now out in the universe! Much thanks and gratitude to my readers who made this a #1 New Release on Amazon this week! My two nonbinary teen characters also thank you! I don’t think I have to say this, but representation is so important. I’m glad Wen & Kaye have made their way out into the world…and I’m excited that they’ve been well received. Thank you all who supported this short story!

Click the image below to go to Amazon to pick up a copy of Billions of Beautiful Hearts!Billions of Beautiful Hearts is one of four short stories in the COME WHAT MAY series…and I can promise you that the other 3 are quite lovely. One of the perks of being involved in this project is that I was able to get early reads on the other 3 stories. You’ll want to pick them up! Links below for the other COME WHAT MAY stories:

GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING by CLAIRE RUDY FOSTER is already out and available!

AND ALWAYS COMING BACK by JUDE SIERRA comes out Tuesday Feb 16th and is available for pre-order now.

SUNNY PASTURES by LILAH SUZANNE comes out Tuesday Feb 23rd and is available for pre-order now.

THANK YOU!

A Short Story for My Readers –

Here’s a short story about a lesbian couple taking a spontaneous trip to Paris in the midst of a crisis. It won 3rd place in a recent short story contest.

Paris at Sunset and Into the Night

A new beginning, she said. A chance to reconnect. To say we needed one was more than a little misleading. We’ve never been closer. I was more than willing, however, to accept Annie’s reasoning on calling it a new beginning on our year instead of on our lives. It’s only early June and I’m ready to pack this year away and never look back on it. When Annie mentioned Paris, it took me three seconds to say yes.

And now we’re here and I’m trying my best not to regret our spontaneous decision. We’ve left so much chaos back home, I find it difficult to focus on anything else.

“Remember our first trip here?” Annie says. We’re holding hands and standing in the middle of the bridge closest to the Eiffel Tower. It’s where we come at sunset to see the sun turn the Seine into a river of liquid gold just moments before the tower bursts into life with its spectacular light-show. “Remember how we didn’t know about the lights? How we both gasped in disbelief as it began?”

“Yeah,” I say, squeezing her hand a little tighter. “It was pure magic. You never get first times like that ever again, though, do you?”

“Nonsense, Margo,” Annie says with a hint of laughter. “Shame on your pessimism. Just you wait. It’s almost time. Don’t you remember?”

The sun begins to sink behind the buildings in the distance. I don’t feel the joy I felt the first time. There’s too much weighing on me. The first time, we were young. Invincible. And relatively new to each other. It seems like a millennium ago now. Though we’ve been back since, I’ve never been to Paris bearing such a burden as the one I now carry. This time, it’s different. Tainted.

“Our first time was over forty years ago, Annie. You can’t remember to take the garbage out. Besides, I’m almost certain you’re mis-remembering the lights. They didn’t start until sometime in the eighties. Our first trip here was in 1977.”

“For the Marche des Fiertés LGBT.” Annie turns to me and her smile is more than I can bear. “First one. Of course I remember it, Margo. I’ll never forget it. We were warriors.”

“There were no lights that first time. Or, at least no light show. Not like they have now.”

“Semantics,” Annie says. “First trip, first trip with the lights. Whichever. You knew what I meant.”

I did. And it’s not the first time I’ve called her on things. I can’t get away from myself these days. All I do is nitpick and whine.

“Let’s just enjoy the lights, shall we? Then we can head back to the flat before it gets too late.”

“We have all the time in the world, sweetie,” Annie says, her voice dreamy with misguided optimism. With lies. “No need to rush the evening away.”

Time has recently become the only thing in the world we do not have enough of. I turn to say something, but Annie puts a finger to my lips. “Ut tut tut. Don’t spoil the moment. You promised.”

Another thing I hate about myself of late. I keep making and breaking promises. There’s no way I can keep them all. One of us needs to be realistic. One of us needs to take this seriously and see it for what it is.

I relent, for her sake. I turn back to the view of the river and try to enjoy the way the sun’s rays melt into the golden chop of the gentle current. Just as I turn back, a big Bateaux Mouches passes under the bridge and comes into view below us. Voices from excited tourists on the top deck rise up to greet us. One of them catches my gaze and waves up at me. I return the wave and call out a quick, “Hello.”

Soon all heads on the open deck of the boat turn upwards and everyone waves. Annie’s smile blooms anew and she practically jumps for joy as she returns their greetings.

“See, Margo,” Annie says as the din of greetings dies down. The boat stops in the near distance to give the tourists a premium view of the upcoming light-show. I’m sure they paid a ridiculous premium for the vantage point. “Magic happens in this spot. It’s our spot, here. Our Paris.”

“I love you, Annie Willis. All of you. Completely.”

“What brought that on, sweetie?” Annie says. “Those are the first kind words you’ve said to me since we got off the plane. This is not like you.”

“Oh, please, Annie,” I say. I cringe because I know she’s right. But I don’t know how to calm down, take things in stride. “Just shut up and tell me you love me back. I’m war-torn and tired. I’m trying my best to navigate this landmine on your terms.”

“I’d give you the world if I could, Margo Wright,” Annie says. She winks and pulls a bottle of champagne from the grocery bag she’s been carrying since she arrived back at the flat and told me we were going for a walk down by the Seine. Before I have a chance to react, she hauls out two plastic wine glasses. “It was true when I fell in love with your dumb ass forty-three years ago, and it’s true today.”

I take the glasses from her as she sets the bag against the railing of the bridge and makes to open the champagne.

“Why are you the one who always gets to be so full of surprises?” I say. “I swear.”

“Because I really do love you,” Annie says. This has become a constant reply to this type of question. She’s as predictable as she is full of surprises. It’s what I like most about her, what drew me to her. She was home, only different. Better. “And you, on the other hand, are only sticking around for a good time.”

She couldn’t possibly be any further from the truth. It was here in Paris that I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this crazy woman. Back at that first Marche des Fiertés LGBT. Looking back at pictures, two things were obvious from that first trip we ever took together. One, the seventies would mock us from afar for the rest of our lives. Perms, flares and day-glo lipstick do not age well. And two, the way we looked at each other in those pictures. Fists raised to the sky in revolt and reverence, arms wrapped around one another as though we were afraid we would float away if we didn’t hold on. Those pictures scream love. Undeniably.

“Shut up and pour,” I say, holding the glasses out in anticipation. The cork shoots off and into the air above us. It unexpectedly arcs out over the river and plunges into its current. Annie covers her mouth, which is frozen in an O of shocked exclamation.

“Oops,” she says. There is laughter in her eyes. It is there always, come what may. I wish I could learn to take things in stride like she does. You would think some of her positivity would have rubbed off on me after so many years together. I seem to have learned nothing.

Annie fills both glasses and sets the bottle down beside the shopping bag. As she takes her glass and raises it into the last of the dying sunset, she says, “To us! To how far Marche des Fiertés LGBT and all the other marches have come, and to us! We’ve had such a great life, Margo. We’ve seen so many wonderful moments. Like the city of lights, we are immortal. To us. Forever.”

I bite my tongue. I have to.

“To us, baby,” I say, choking back tears as the solemnity of the moment does its best to smother me in its grip.

Our glasses find each other and offer a faint dull plastic click as they meet. Someone from the boat sees our raised glasses and offers up a hoot into the relative silence. This is followed by a growing round of applause as the rest of the tourists spot our toast and join in on the celebration, even though they have no idea how somber the moment is between us.

Or maybe they have the right idea.

For the entire two months since her diagnosis, I’ve been fluctuating between gratefulness and despair…thankfulness and hostility. I’ve always been the frugal one, the level-headed one, the pessimist, the ballast keeping Annie’s exuberance from floating us away like balloons on a trade-wind to someplace more exotic and unpredictable. I’m Debbie Downer to her Mary Poppins.

I almost said no the other night when she whispered, “Let’s go to Paris,” as I began to doze off. It was out of the blue and she caught me just before my final plunge into another night of bad dreams and restless sleep. Perhaps being caught off guard is what saved me this time.

Even though it took me mere seconds to say yes, the no was the thing that came immediately to my lips. I pushed back against it and banished it away, forcing it back down my throat as the yes rushed out. I have a long history of saying no and it’s a history I can no longer get back. I can’t bear to think of the missed opportunities I shot down for one insignificant reason or another.

We sip our champagne even though I have no idea what it is I’m celebrating.

“We saw the world change around us, pretty girl,” Annie says. “We have time to see more and you know it.”

“I’m scared, Annie.”

“You know me, Margo,” she says. “Nobody likes a challenge like I do. We have lots of work to do back home. I’m stubborn enough to stay long enough to get it done. This trip? It’s just a breather. We’re here to regroup.”

“I’m sorry. I should be more supportive. I’m just scared. Sixty years isn’t enough. We haven’t done all the things I’ve said no to yet, Annie.”

“Never apologize, Margo. You’re the sane one in our relationship. You keep me grounded.”

I swipe an errant tear as bile rises in my stomach. It’s the anger I feel with myself for the wasted bits. Annie merely smiles. She hands me her plastic glass, now less than half full, and bends to grab something else from her shopping bag of surprises. When she comes back up with the two pink pussy hats we made last summer for the Washington rally, all I can do is laugh. I’m not sure how to stop.

“What?” she says. “You didn’t think I’d leave home without them, did you?”

“Annie,” I say, grabbing one of the hats and pulling it down over my head, not giving a good goddamn what it does to my hair. “What the hell am I ever going to do with you?”

We laugh, but somewhere deep down inside I’m asking myself a very different question. What will I ever do without her?

“I’m not done yet, my love.” Annie puts the other hat on and reaches in to plant a kiss on my unsuspecting lips. Our teeth click together and we giggle before managing to get it right.

Annie poses us for a selfie with the tower in the background. It’s very similar to the ones we’ve taken all along in this spot, long before they were ever called selfies. Smiles on our faces and pussy hats blazing, she snaps the shot. I know she’ll post it soon on either Instagram or Facebook, and it’ll be accompanied by some harsh words of condemnation and battle cries for revolt…but the thing most people will see is what will make the heart of the shot and give it likes and mileage. Even after all these years, at the heart of it all we’re just two girls in love.

The tourists in the boat below us rise up into another cacophony of applause. This time, though, it’s not for us. The Eiffel Tower bursts into light as the darkness becomes complete.

I hand Annie back her glass before I finish my champagne and toss my own glass into the bag at our feet. Annie finishes her drink and bends down to pack things away properly. As she straightens up, I reach in for another kiss. We pull away and take in the shimmering display of lights on the tower. The world around us has fallen into a hush as everyone flocked about the tower looks on in awe.

Annie stands beside me in all her pussy hat splendor. I wonder at the way she takes in the lights like it’s the first time she’s ever seen them. My lone thought fills me with hope. The world still needs Annie Willis just as much as I need her. This truth soothes me more than a spontaneous trip to our favorite city ever could. Annie’s not done fighting. The least I can do is be in her corner.

THE END

This story is now part of a collection. Pick it up here:

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(Pictures are my own, taken during my 2014 trip to Paris with the LEFT BANK WRITERS RETREAT.)